Do you ever wonder if you had your life to live over again – would you do the same things? I think you would unless you made different choices. Because life isn’t about what you do, it’s about what you choose. And this is something i wish i had learnt earlier in life.
I am sure you know people who seem to work very hard, who seem to have their hearts in the right places and who seem like genuine nice people ….and they are. But then why are things always going wrong for them? What is it – do they have a ‘bad luck’ cloud floating around over their heads?
Well – maybe, but when you talk to those people what do they talk about? Generally – whatever is going on in their lives that is wrong right now, and the thing that happened before that ..and the thing they are worried is going to happen next.
Then there are people who seem to sail through life – all the lucky breaks in the world go their way, they never seem to have a bad hair day and they don’t seem to have the same struggle. Is that fair?
Well – maybe not, but when you talk to those people, what do THEY talk about? The interesting project they are right in the middle of, the fantastic thing that happened last week and the really exciting plan they have for next month.
You see where I am going with this?
Those two people very likely have the same challenges. They both have arguments with their partners, they both have bosses who don’t always appreciate them as they should, they both get ill, they both have people they love die. One chooses to focus on the positive and one on the negative – and guess what they both get. Yep – more of whatever they focus on.
A great man once taught me that you cannot control everything that happens to you in life – you cannot control the behaviour of others, the weather, public transport, the government or anything else that seems out to personally get you. The only thing – and THE most important thing – that you can control – is how you feel about it. You can choose to focus on negative stuff, bemoan your fate and feel sorry for yourself. Or you can choose to find something, anything, positive in the situation and feel grateful for that.
I wish I had learned that many years before because it literally changed my life. It is so obvious and so true and yet we often don’t do it. It’s easier to moan. It’s easier to blame someone else, it’s easier to give away control of our life to the fates. But it is not required. You CAN choose.
I spent my 20’s in victim mode – I believed that my fate was at the hands of my bosses. I spent precious time moaning about one unsuitable or half witted (in my opinion) boss after another. And wondering why people got promoted around me. Until my best friend got Motor Neurone Disease and lived with it for 2 years before he died. It is the most horrific illness – go look it up.
Not ONCE did he moan or ask ‘why me’. Not once did he curse his bad luck having just found the love of his life, to be handed out a death sentence. Not once did he ever make me – or anyone else – feel sorry for him. Minutes before he died he was cracking a joke. I loved that man. And he taught me such a valuable lesson. You cannot choose what happens to you in life – but you can damn well choose how you feel about it.
I hope you choose to have a great day today!